Shiver

I wasn't aware that Halloween came so early this year. Just as I was getting up the gumption to start trimming some of the bushes in my front yard I surveyed the situation first. Thank God I did otherwise I wouldn't be writing this post because I would be in the hospital recovering from a heart attack.

See my lovely little bush?

I could see some spider web strand glinting in the sun and if there's one thing I am absolutely terrified of it is spiders. Yuck. So I went to get my gloves. I am NOT tackling this without something between my hands and this bush I thought to myself. If I had a choice I would probably do stuff like this with a full hazmat suit on just to protect myself from all the creepy crawlies out there. I bent in a little closer and then I saw it. OH MY GOODNESS. (That is not by the way what I actually said!)

Can you see that thing??? It was about a foot in diameter. Okay not really a foot but pretty darn close. I can barely even look at these pictures because they scare me so much. Ridiculous, I know. And just for good measure here's the side view...

Can you see those fangs??

Needless to say I am not trimming this bush or getting within a 10 foot radius of it until this thing is gone! And when it is gone what does 'gone' really mean? Does it go into hiding? Does it just die? Does something else come to eat it? Don't answer that. I'm better off not knowing!